Despair and Infinity

As you watch in despair, your eyes see through the life. As you breathe in isolation you realize it has a voice and as you listen to the silence you ll feel it’s the loudest scream. There are moments of chaos, so calm and intense. No pattern at all.

Infinity has no order, is random and has wings which are boundless, seamless and unrestricted. But infinity has depths, the very depths meant for despair.

Joy has bounds for sure, it is with a purpose, is chained and to top it all it is shallow.

While despair tests your waters, joy simply floats and with a pinch it sinks to the floor with immediate demise.

Infinity is Despair. Despair is deep. Depths are silent.

I am, at my own.

Waking up with an alarm now a days is more of a dope than a need. The eyes and ears have hooked themselves not to the bright light of the day but the constant snoozes and screenshots of time. Alarm clocks have become the jack sparrows of a civilized world, nuisance but useful, hate them but can’t do without them.

 It was a regular routine barring the weekends. The weekends were much more painful. The routine at least helps the time stick by you or the other way around, mostly the latter but a day without the daily chores is like a round boat in a calm lake without any pedals. After a not so pleasant day spent in witnessing  “Return of Chandramukhi” on Zee Cinema it wasn’t a pleasant evening either. I kept on thinking and searching on google about the symptoms of a heart attack, so couldn’t even sleep or hog the uncle chips left from last night. Constipation is believed to be the origin of stale and stinky thoughts as well. A full day passed by and that Mcgrill was still stuck in my intestine humping it at its will.

The phone call that followed while I was bench pressing to relax the abdomen immediately resulted in the premature ejaculation of that bastard burger and dragged it down to the very depths of the sewerage. Happiness can do that to you, it is indeed a laxative. Last time I was this happy, I pulled out a kid ‘s pants stuck in a barbed wire, the bugger was in the same nasty position for the last half an hour. Though the little pants were torn apart, he was more than happy his posteriors were scratch-free. The moment I relieved him of his misery, he vanished like Richard Parker in Life of Pie, without even looking at his messiah but alas the good deed of the day was well executed.

Oh well the phone call, it was a self-recorded voice message scheduled to tell me about the time left for the project and my stay here.

A cold day…

It danced in front of me, mocking me in a way which made me think about the existence of stability and continuity. Every look at it sprung a new shape, a new direction and a new found vigor. Though it was pleasing in a way, it was almost killing me, poking fun at me and my poster fundamentals. I was irritated to look into its eyes, it made me look so small and the longer the stare the nastier the humiliation. Nothing ever gave me as clear, truthful and rude the answers it gave me. I was in denial at the beginning but by the time the dance stopped with its death, I changed for… well, the worst.

The Golden Cage

And then it happened again,i went for the rush and sanity evicted me from her golden cage.Yes, a golden cage. A golden cage with all the luxuries. I could see some souls flying, some were battered,wingless but still flying. Yes,wingless but flying. out of the golden cage with all the securities. I watched them, in pain,in ecstasy, in anguish,in irony but still full of blood. Yes the one thicker than wood. out of the golden cage with all the rebellion. And then it happened again, i went for the rush and sanity evicted me from her golden cage.Yes, a golden cage.

Fortune favors whom?

Fortune favors whom: The brave or the naïve?

A statement I ve been pondering since the time I lost my first 100 meter race in 5th grade.

The winner : my fierce competitor in gulli danda, kanchey, kho-kho ,cricket and class ki “maal”.
The runner up : Me, I slipped just before the finishing line and somehow managed to get my face planted on the finish line.
The consequence: He became the Monitor of my class, and snatched the eyes of the class “maal” from me

15 years on, and this uncertainity of Mr.Luck still haunts me.

September-2011 (Top 10 List) - Music

1.Pour some sugar on me - Def lepard
2.Money - Pink Floyd
3.Killing in the name of - RATM
4.Beggin - Madcon
5.Khoya khoya chand - bartender mix by micke mcleary
6.Barra Barra - Rachid Taha
7.The day the music died - Don Mclean
8.Eminence Front - The Who
9.When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin
10.Dillagi - Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

chit-chat

May 15

ME:hello stupendous man
how are u doing
anyways ... it doesnt matter how u are doin...

SM:why would you say something like hat?
thats just mean
Today

ME:so day after?
all geared up?

SM:no


ME:great
thats a sign of well preparedness

SM:sadist
why are you like this..

ME:no NPT
if u wud ve sad yes
wich u wud never do
u pessimistic earthworm
that wudve meant...satan wudve owned ur ass
since u ve said no

SM:why do you say such things..
i mean why>

ME:which means u ve accepted the almighty jesus with ur heart soul body and nose

SM:again.. why>
?

ME:what why
ur nose is a universal truth

SM:why are you so cyncical
and contrary
and so downright mean

ME:mean?????????
i wud be mean if i wud comment about ur hair
but i dont do that
ur nose is just an architectural marvel
so thats not being mean
but i am being profound
and critical
and all that philosphical shite

SM:you are being a weasel

ME:well weasels have a chibbed nose
which doesnt protrude from their faces

SM:you have a fat head

ME:which would help in covering the fatness of my nose
and it wont look out of shape

SM:are you bored?

ME:my nose would amalgamate

SM:go chat up mamta

ME:on my fat face
i am creative when i am with u
and i dnt talk crap
i talk sense
seriously
!!
like i think and i talk
i just dont type anything
there's a lot of hidden stuff in whatever i type
it would take a nose of ur size to sniff that
ok..... i would stop now
so hows the book going on?

SM:you 'will' stop now
'will'
not 'would'
you bloomin imbecile

ME:will or would
or would or will
shall or should
ur nose is thrill

SM:are you going crazy again

ME:so chill...hill bill
ok
back to the senses
zooooooooooooooozoooooooooooozoooooo
grrrrrrrrooooooooooommmmmmmm

SM:r u drunk?

ME:shwishhhhhoooooooooo
nope
!!
infact i am hyperactive

SM:fine then i am being stupid
talking to you

ME:no i aint drunk
talk sense to me
!!
talk the worldly sense to me
which would please ur fluuffy nostrills and then they ll flatten up in satisfaction
am i being to harsh on ur nose?
i cant even remember what it looks like
it must be a fine piece
but thats the cornerstone of a nutritious conversation between us
innit?
stupendous man?
ok i am sorry
!!
bad timing
u must be tensed because of day after
all the best
bye

SM:finally..